Part of what I want women of color to know is the difference between what’s ours to take on, and what isn’t. Women and women of color take on so much, when it’s the system’s fault. There’s so much power in knowing you’re not alone, in knowing what’s yours, and giving back the rest.”
On knowing your inherent worth…
“I’d known I wanted to leave my job for about three years before I left. It wasn’t working for me for a variety of reasons, but I found it hard to leave because I felt responsible. I thought, ‘As the ‘first,’ all eyes are on me. If I fail, what are other people going to think? I fought so hard for the seat, and what would my leaving mean for everybody else?’ Then I got really sick, and ended up in bed for eight months.
My entire identity was my work. I was at my doctor’s office for the third time with a suitcase in the corner because I was traveling for work. She said to me, ‘We can run more tests, or I can tell you what you already know: Your job is killing you. It’s not conducive to your healing.’ Then she asked me three life-changing questions: ‘Do you have to have a big job like this? What else could you do other than this job? Do you see yourself as worthy without what you do?’
The worthy question is important. I think a lot of us find our worth from our work and advancement and the accolades and the money and the title. Now, success for me is no longer divorced from health or mental wellness. We live in a culture and a society where those two things don’t go hand in hand. We need to re-link them.”
On shifting workplace culture…
“I’m asking women of color to find the power of ‘me,’ and the power of ‘we.’ You need to figure out for yourself what makes you feel whole, healthy, happy, powerful. That takes rewriting narratives and sorting through our parents’ definition of success and work. The ‘we’ work is joining a community. Once you find the ‘we,’ you realize you’re not alone, and that we’re struggling with the same things. There’s power in that. That’s how you push on structures.
I think we need both of those components if we’re actually going to make change, and really understand what’s happening to us. It is giving ourselves permission to create the world that we want and the life we want. Trailblazing comes at a cost, and we don’t talk about that. Most of the women [I interviewed] were sick. There is burnout, as well as trauma happening for women of color in a real way. It’s about unpacking that and setting new boundaries, because we’re in a moment now more than ever where we’ve realized work isn’t working for anybody.”
On redefining leadership…
“Many of the necessary qualities we call ‘feminine qualities,’ such as empathy, have been divorced [from leadership]. One woman I interviewed who used to be an executive at Google talked about how she really leads with her intuition. For me, leadership has to be more than your head. We think of leadership as the white men that have been the model for centuries, and our sense of who a leader is desperately needs to evolve and expand.
As women of color, we have very different lived experiences. Yet there’s never been space to bring all our stories, strengths, or lived experiences into leadership. They would be really valuable right now, where leaders need to know how to work in complexity and develop and manage diversity. We’ve had to navigate not being seen and heard within structures. Why are those things not valued in the same sorts of ways?”
On changing the conversation about power…
“One of the biggest messages in my book is that anything that has come before can be undone, but we have to decide to undo it. We are the ones that give power to everything. If we decided these systems didn’t work, we could recreate them. We need white male leaders to understand we’re not trying to take anything away from them. We’re trying to have a conversation about how power was defined in the first place. We want to remake the table, not just move around what exists.
The article was written by Holly Corbett on April 29th 2022 for Forbes.com. To read the full article please click here.